Waffly B@1#*cks

This is the webmaster's chance to rant and rave about anything that might pop into his mind, relevant or (more than likely) not. It's also your chance to have a say. Something bothering you? Irked by the extortionate price of burgers at Canvey Island? Upset by yet another away cup draw? Narked by Virgin Trains' interpretation of 'on-time'? Let it all out, long or short, important or not, by emailing your woes to the SDS Webmaster and we'll put it on here.

In the interests of keeping this page relatively short, older waffles can now be found on separate pages here.

Don't forget you can also write articles on more-or-less any subject for inclusion in the printed fanzine. Please email or post these articles to our editor. Unless you specify otherwise, submitted articles may be published in the fanzine, on the website, or both, and you must allow us to attribute your name to the article.


26/10/07 - THE WHINGE OF CHANGE?

I don't often pay much attention to the Premier League these days. We all know it's going to be one of the big four that wins it, another bunch who will scrap it out among themselves for a top half finish and not a lot else of note. Those who know me will also know I have a penchant for supporting the underdog - who doesn't among Town fans?! - and I quite enjoy it when pride takes a fall.

So it has in equal measure amused and irritated me this week to read the arrogant moans of yet another massively unpopular German goalkeeper, Jens Lehmann, following hotly in the footsteps of the 'revered' Oliver Kahn. His incredibly disrespectful outburst will not win any favours from the watching public, Arsenal fans or, most importantly, his manager. The way to get yourself back in the side is not to publicly degrade the man who took his place after, it has to be said, a series of errors stretching back to last season which would not look out of place in the Blue Square Premier! Rather, as Franz Beckenbauer (one of the few men at the top of the game I've got a lot of time for) said, it's more likely to lead to permanent exclusion from the team and club rather than getting him back in.

'"Almunia has not yet showed that he can win matches for us," Lehmann added,' says the BBC website, alongside links to a couple of match reports: Arsenal 7 Slavia Prague 0, Arsenal 2 Bolton 0. Yes, nil against. In fact, since Lehmann played, Arsenal have only conceded 4 goals in 10 games. OK so Lehmann's record is equally good statistically, but either way it doesn't suggest Almunia is any better or worse than Lehmann. And besides, when Lehmann won all these titles and kept all those clean sheets, he was one of a team who won titles and kept clean sheets, he didn't do it all by himself (despite what he might think himself).

Is there an interesting parallel here with events at the Shay? I don't personally know the reason Craig Mawson isn't playing, and maybe it would be reading too much into matters to compare the two situations, but either way you don't hear Mawson crying to the Evening Courier (who would gladly print such a story, no doubt) about his 'humiliating' treatment and threatening to lift the lid on his 'dear manager'. He clearly has more class than you, Jens.

Matt Wright

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/a/arsenal/7058711.stm


28/8/07 - THERE, THERE

A few weeks ago, I succumbed to the temptation to subscribe to Setanta Sports. I'm a little annoyed with the number of games that are being moved, and maybe I shouldn't be lending my support to the channel if I want this to stop. But that's not my most immediate irritation.

I have to say, the coverage overall seems reasonable. There's plenty worth watching aside from Conference football, and it compares favourably with similar-level football provision from Sky. But why, oh why, oh why did they have to draft in Paul Parker as an 'expert' summariser?

His footballing credentials are pretty good. 4 years at QPR, 5 at Manchester United with transfer fees totalling £2.3m, 19 appearances for the England national team and a managerial stint at Welling United are all commendable. One thing his long career hasn't taught him, though, is the English language. I don't think I've ever heard a commentator with such a poor grasp of it, and that includes Chris Kamara. Several times I've heard nonsensical sentences with words in the wrong order, as if his brain is playing catch up with his tongue, followed by excruciating 2-second pauses when he realises he's staggered down a grammatical blind alley.

The pinnacle of my annoyance, however, is his use of the word 'there'. Where? We can see where, Paul, the interjection is unnecessary. His current record is five in the same sentence (or, more accurately, splurge) although I'm certain he'll beat that before the season's out. "The boy done well there, got inside his man there, and the keeper's come and made a good save there. There." All delivered in a grating East End accent. Now, I kind of expect co-commentators to be masters at stating the obvious but it doesn't add anything when I find myself shouting at the TV because of the ineptitude of the pundits rather than the footballers.

Contrast this to the summariser on Setanta's Premier League coverage, Craig Burley, himself an ex-international striker, whose enthusiasm and insightful comments are actually worth listening to. Parker isn't enough to make me switch off just yet, but I just hope I can 'zone out' before then.

Matt Wright


13/3/07 - WATCH THE GAME!

This Waffle's title is something I imagine many a desperate parent crying out, trying to control the 'next generation' of fans, whilst in their early, unruly years (they never really stop, do they?) at a particularly important juncture in a match. However, it is also clearly a remark that could be aimed towards the BBC regarding their attitude (or that of whoever else they farm their duties out to) to non-league match reporting. In today's media-obsessed world, we all want to find out results, scores, what's happened as soon as the game is over. But that requirement for speed is no excuse for shoddy and downright inaccurate work.

Twice recently I have read the BBC Sport Website in disbelief at the brief reports on Town matches. Firstly, I can possibly understand the confusion of a stupid but unwitting neutral observer remembering that Felix Bastians used to be on loan from Nottingham Forest to Northwich, but you would hope that the blue shirt would be a giveaway that that was no longer the case in this report. And secondly, and perhaps more worryingly for our new signing Greg Strong, the recent win over Exeter City is reported thus. I'm pretty sure when I first saw him, I didn't think Greg was grossly malformed, but the BBC report seems to suggest he had a large foot-shaped lump, a left one no less, attached to his forehead because his early goal was clearly scored with a header from a Bastians free kick.

I can accept that it's costly to send a journalist to every game at this level, but surely it's possible to find someone to get the facts right at the very least. Pay a local fan to do it if it's necessary, but if you're not going to have someone at the game who's capable of actually reporting what happened, then don't bother reporting it at all and save it for those who can do a proper job.

PS - I'll never complain about Dave Fletcher again!

Matt Wright


18/2/07 - FAIR RE-PLAY

So, because his Arsenal side couldn't get past a stubborn resistance from unfancied Blackburn Rovers in the FA Cup yesterday, sour-faced Frenchman Arsene Wenger has reared his wrinkled head once more to call for an end to replays. That old cliché, 'fixture congestion', was mentioned and rather disappointingly but perhaps unsurprisingly, Wenger has got some support from other Premier League managers for his stance.

It's true to say that the game these days is much different than from 20 years ago. Players at the highest level do have to deal with more pressure on and off the pitch and physical condition is paramount. However, if you have a squad of 50+ players, and are allowed to name 5 subs on the bench for every game (more if you're playing in European competition) playing two games a week really shouldn't be a problem. If Mr Wenger really wants to see fixture congestion, I would suggest he takes a visit to watch Town - after all, he'll have plenty of opportunities between now and the end of the season, when we have somewhere between 19 and 21 matches in the next 10 weeks, and with a squad of less than half the size even assuming all the players currently on the injury list were fit.

And actually for once, watching Match Of The Day, there was some useful (if not particularly insightful) commentary from the pundits on the matter. All of Gavin Peacock, Lawrie Sanchez and Ray Stubbs spoke out against scrapping replays, and although Peacock inadvertently hinted at Plymouth's victory (to be shown later in the show!) with his comment and might perhaps have been better off mentioning Exeter City or Burton Albion in his comparison, he was right to point out that the ones to lose out, as always, would be the smaller sides. I for one believe that Exeter and Burton had every right to play another match against Manchester United, just as Blackburn Rovers do against Arsenal, because the big team couldn't score against the little one. To scrap replays would be simultaneously devaluing the oldest football competition in the world and tipping the balance of footballing power yet further in the direction of the biggest clubs - help they certainly do not need and should not be given by the FA.

Matt Wright


20/1/07 - EXPLOSIVE CUP TIE?

Town avoided what could be described as a potentially explosive cup tie when Oxford United edged past Lewes in their FA Trophy First Round Replay a couple of weeks ago. Travelling, ironically enough, up to Oxford to watch the Shaymen eventually get a deserved 2-2 draw at the Kassam Stadium, I came across a piece in the Independent, describing how an unruly minority in the town had been so incensed by new parking restrictions and private traffic wardens that they have taken matters into their own hands.

Parking 'vigilantes' as they have been described, have undertaken over 200 attacks on parking meters in the town, destroying 35 out of the 96 in the town and causing repair and replacement damage estimated at £300,000 - now that's a hefty parking charge! Authorities have offered a £5,000 reward for anyone helping to catch the meter bombers, claiming they are concerned about the potential for injury.

So just be wary, should the Shaymen ever travel to this 'sleepy Sussex town' to take care where you leave your car, otherwise you might end up with more than you bargained for!

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/crime/article2149724.ece

Matt Wright


16/9/06 - HALIFAX TOWN UNITED

Sadly, we didn't get any points to go with the upheaval of the last 7 days. This was probably to be expected. What is clear, though, is that in order to move forward and start picking up those vital wins, the club and its supporters need to get fully behind Chris Wilder and his team both on and off the field.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday last week was a strange experience for Town supporters, and it probably wasn't that much clearer what was going on to those in Halifax as it was observing from afar like myself. What matters is that the outcome of those three days was Wilder staying, as a result of chairman Geoff Ralph making some promises to him regarding financial issues.

Taking the first outcome, well of course it wasn't always clear that that was going to be the case, and opinion was very much divided on Wilder's actions when it was thought he would be leaving. I have no doubt that those people arguing and name-calling on the messageboards have the interests of the club at heart and are Town fans through and through, but petty spats online don't do anything to help the club. Wilder is staying, at least for now, and those who criticised his apparent betrayal will hopefully be retracting their statements about his loyalty to us. As the single most successful manager since George Mulhall, and several before him, Wilder deserves an awful lot of credit for his time at Halifax Town. He now deserves to be able to get on with his job, and by this I don't mean that all discussion of tactics and relative ability of players or the management staff should be banned - I mean that it should not be allowed to escalate from discussion or constructive criticism into abuse, from the Skircoat or South Stands or on the internet. Again, this helps no-one. Would your boss telling you you're shit at your job make you try harder?

As to what convinced Wilder to stay with the club, there was much discussion pre-match at Weymouth about where the money is going to come from to back up the promises made by Ralph. This is where an awful lot more unity than we have at the moment is required. The club at the moment seems to be, as is quite often the case, muddling through until the next financial crisis. On the face of it, making promises about money do not perhaps seem the most prudent thing for the club to be doing. However I do firmly believe, with some cohesion at all levels within the club, from the chairman down to the thousand-odd supporters we have, it is possible to deliver on those promises and make the club stronger.

The East Stand is no panacea. We need to start increasing the income of the club in other ways even before (if?) work begins on it again and regardless of what facilities are going to fit in underneath it. A willingness to help from supporters and supporters organisations, which has already been indicated, coupled with meaningful dialogue and action from the club is vital, because without this, Halifax Town AFC will lumber headlong into another crisis and this time, we won't be keeping hold of our manager, our best players and quite probably our Conference place. The events of last week were merely a wake-up call. Only through unity from top to bottom can we achieve success.

Matt Wright


1/8/06 - HAPPY YORKSHIRE DAY!

Nah then, I hope all you lads and lasses have enjoyed today, despite Town's latest friendly loss, given that it's been a day for celebrating all things Yorkshire. An institution which is relatively young, and supported at least partly tongue-in-cheek, Yorkshire Day is nevertheless something which I have made everyone around me today aware of! My White Rose has been sitting proudly above my computer at work, my Yorkshire flag draped over the back of my chair and I shall be offering the leftovers of my toad in t'hole around tomorrow dinnertime... actually scrub that last bit, I'm having the lot myself.

For those of our membership born in Halifax and who now live away, it's perhaps even more important to us to identify with the town and county we are from, especially if like me it's not possible to return all that much. We are, after all, ambassadors for our great county! There's also the question of how long 'being Yorkshire' will last. Living in Reading it was noticeable how the elderly people still spoke with a west-country style accent but the under 60s all seemed to be 'cocknified', for want of a better phrase. This isn't likely to happen up north, admittedly but the death of traditional speech and dialect, in any region but in particular that of the part of the world I'm from, would be very sad. I notice all too often how my accent has changed in my years away, although it is with not a little pride that I also notice how quickly I revert to type when watching Town or on the phone to my friends and family back home.

Yorkshire is still my favourite place in the world, and no other place will ever truly be home for me. So if you're an SDS member and you feel even an inkling the same, make sure next year you remember your white rose on August 1st next year, and make sure those southerners know where you're from!

Matt Wright


(Old) Waffly B@1#*cks

6/4/06 - The second team

4/3/06 - Not a pointless season

17/1/06 - Cause for celebration

30/12/05 - Ward a plonker!

4/5/05 - Home from home

21/3/05 - Waffle 'New Zealand' style

18/3/05 - Atmospheric pressure

2/3/05 - In defence of Luton (but not some other places)

4/2/05 - Less-than-salubrious surroundings

24/1/05 - Pride before a fall

13/9/04 - Wingers and a prayer

24/8/04 - (More) Panic on the streets of Carlisle

20/8/04 - W.Y.P.D. Blues